the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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