The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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