I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
