??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
