handjob tips. give me some.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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