The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
