i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
