did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
