I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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