he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
