gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
