checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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