Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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