If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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