It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My vagina is very pro this idea
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
