marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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