Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
