Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
