i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I AM VODKA MAN
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
