yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He passed out mid-signature
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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