He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
