Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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