I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
