Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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