He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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