hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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