So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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