dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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