Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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