fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
farters have to be the big spoon...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
