so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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