1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize