Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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