i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
