Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
