It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
