Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
