she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
