Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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