i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
