I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
