his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
