Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize