Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
