Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
