mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
