So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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