Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize