dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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