You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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