Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
