i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
