Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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