How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
