wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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