I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
