Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize