i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
