YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
