chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
