You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I intend to get homeless drunk
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
