So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
