And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
