I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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