8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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