Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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