she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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