If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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