hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
