Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize