Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
